Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over Spending

A good friend of mine recently told me she felt guilty for spending money on a cute pair of shoes to go with a dress she was wearing to a wedding. She showed them to me — they’re the kind of heels that you can wear with anything!

My friend is not in debt. She’s someone who is so responsible with her money that when it comes to spending it, she freaks out about whether she’s doing the right thing. And I’ll admit, I tend to get the same way about my purchases.

It’s in my nature to save money in places where I can’t bear to spend it — groceries, clothes, manicures. Haircuts and manis? I’ll skip them here and there. I don’t totally skimp out when I go food or clothes shopping, but I always make sure I have coupons that coincide with a sale.

The few times I do buy something off-sale, like a purse, I get that twinge of guilt.

But I will spend it in other places. Sushi? Absolutely. A vacation here and there? Sure thing — although the initial outlay to book it always gives me chills.

Right now, I can’t bear to think about putting out the money for new kitchen countertops and the backsplash, even though we desperately need a new one (cracked white formica, anyone?). I really want a nice patio area for our yard, since there’s nowhere to put a table and chairs besides on the grass. But I get paralyzed with fear when it comes to spending on major purchases.

We work hard for our money. I work a number of side gigs to keep extra income flowing in, and that money allows us to splurge once in a while. I think that’s something we all should keep in mind.

6 comments to Don’t Beat Yourself Up Over Spending

  • RainyDaySaver

    @Revanche: It *is* easy to spend your hard-earned cash. Once in a while, moderately, is okay. Having control is key.

    @fallingintofavor: That's my problem, too — I have no problem spending on other people (like my hubby), but on myself? It's much more difficult. I think that's why my mother-in-law likes to buy me clothes for my birthday/Christmas, haha. I probably look like a ragamuffin sometimes.

    @MoneyHoneySF: She's aware — she also bought the dress for the wedding, but didn't *quite* feel as guilty about that one as the shoes. Reckless spending is scary, and it pains me to see people who do it.

  • Money Honey SF

    I think a little healthy spending here and there is no harm. It's especially good if your friend is aware that she is spending her money on certain things and feel somewhat in quilt about it.

    I'm more concern with the ones that spend recklessly without a conscience as to where their money has gone.

    Happy spending! 🙂

  • fallingintofavor

    I do the same thing! Even when I have money alloted for me to spend, I always find myself spending it on other people. Like: a friend's baby shower gift, even though there is money budgeted for the gift. Its like I feel guilty spending money on me unless its my birthday. So I come up with ways to reward myself. You worked out and ate well for 2 weeks, buy that shirt you've been eying for months! lol

  • Revanche

    Y'know I call myself the Mouse You Shouldn't Have Given a Cookie, right? I sort of *have* to be hard on all my spending decisions to make sure I don't throw caution to the wind and spend like a madwoman. 🙂 Because as careful as I am about money, it's really too easy to spend it up.

    This is why I divide my money into spending pots, so I don't whinge about spending on insurance, maintenance, etc. and then cringe when I remember that I bought a goody for myself.

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